raise 'em right...

I tried to post on the topic of marriage last week and chickened out...it wasn't the right time for me and I hadn't finished formulating my thoughts. My parents have been married for 33 years and at times it was rocky and hard. They separated at one point and weren't sure that they would make it, but they worked at it and are happily still together today. The message that gave me was that it isn't always pretty, but you keep working at it. There is a commitment and it is everlasting. When I met Matthew, I knew his parents were also still married (a fact that both of our parents were still married to their original spouse surprised us at the time) so he too was given a model of what marriage can and should be. Both sets of our parents are happy and very much in love, however, there have been trial and tests along the way.

Around the time I was getting out of college, wedding fever was everywhere. I was in five weddings (five bridesmaid's dresses. all periwinkle blue. the bridesmaid's dresses for my wedding? yep. periwinkle). With time, distance, and life coming as it does, I have lost touch with some of these friends. Over the last few weeks, I have heard that two of these unions have dissolved. This saddens me terribly to think that the love and excitement I witnessed as the two became one have given up or hurt each other beyond repair. Marriage is hard and I don't know the specifics on these relationships; I don't know the reasons they have for choosing divorce. I have also been struggling as I watch some close family friends deal with some marriage difficulties. The outcome here is not clear, but I pray that the family can be saved (I am not preaching, I promise. It goes without saying that some marriages cannot be saved. Those that are abusive or when one of the parties isn't commited are harmful and should be dissolved or annulled). 

{while I was inside taking pictures of Sam, this is what the girls were doing this...}

I think all of this has made me grow in my own faith in some very profound ways. I believe now more than ever in the sacrament of marriage. I also believe that my husband is also steadfast in his beliefs in the commitment and sacrament of our marriage (rest assured, I have grilled him about it). These situations have opened a dialogue about our feelings on all of it. It has given me cause to pray, really pray, for the involved families and for the protection of my own. I am also more thankful now than ever for the way my in-laws instilled family values, boundaries, and morals into their children. I am so proud of the man that Matthew is and am so glad that his parents modeled marriage the way that they have.

 So...all of this is to say that the pressure is on. As a parent, I already felt the pressure to get the alphabet down pat, to instill a love of reading, to illustrate kindness and patience, to work on math skills, and to give them a strong moral compass...but now I realize that I have so much more than that to do! The way that my husband and I handle conflict and disagreements as well as protect and nurture our own marriage is how we model family and marriage for our own children.